Helping Cope with the Feeling of Waiting

Have you ever had a loved one with dementia repeatedly ask, “What are we waiting for?” or “When is it time to go?” It’s a question that often stems from anxiety, confusion, or the need for structure. For someone with dementia, the passage of time can feel overwhelming and unanchored. As caregivers, we can offer support by creating a sense of purpose and calm. Let’s explore compassionate ways to help them feel less restless while waiting.

Why the Feeling of Waiting Is So Common

Dementia affects how individuals perceive time, leaving them with little sense of how long they’ve been waiting or what comes next. This uncertainty can make them feel uneasy, even if they don’t know why. They might be waiting for something that doesn’t exist, but to them, the feeling is very real and pressing.

Tips to Ease Restlessness While Waiting

1. Offer Reassurance

A simple, kind response can go a long way. Try saying, “We’re just relaxing right now,” or, “We’re all set—there’s nothing to worry about.” These words can help ease their anxiety and remind them that they’re safe.

2. Create a Distraction

Engage them in an activity to take their mind off waiting. Offer an activity, a favorite book, or even a walk around the house. Gentle redirection can shift their focus and reduce their restlessness.

3. Use Visual Cues

If they’re waiting for a specific event, such as dinner or a visitor, use a sign or note as a simple reminder. Individuals with dementia often retain the skill of reading for a long time. For example, you might write a note that says, “I am sitting at the dining table and my food is being prepared right now.” This can help them feel more grounded in the present.

4. Simplify the Environment

Sometimes, too much stimulation can make waiting feel worse. Reduce background noise, clutter, or distractions to create a calming atmosphere where they can relax.

When to Seek Support

If feelings of restlessness or anxiety persist, consult a healthcare professional. They can help assess whether additional interventions, such as medication or behavioral therapies, might be beneficial.

Waiting can feel endless and overwhelming for someone with dementia, but small, compassionate actions can make a big difference. By offering reassurance, engaging them in activities, and creating a calming environment, you can help your loved one feel more at ease. Remember, it’s not about the destination—it’s about helping them feel comfortable and safe in the moment.